What to do with a person who you cannot love?

The inability to love is the weakness of a character. That's weak emotional intelligence. Low wisdom and low social intelligence. There are numerous people in our lives who you cannot love... Despite how hard you try, they are brought into your life by the circumstances.

I'm not saying they are not worthy of your love, everyone is dignified enough to deserve the love. Your core cannot accept them for any intrinsic belief in your mind. Maybe you never wanted them in the first place. Maybe they are imposed onto your life, or your preferences were different, but now you have a situation where the person is in your life and you cannot love them, what can you do to them?

Initially, you might be very angry with them. You'll struggle to form a connection. You'll hardly notice the good sides of them. You might give them the silent treatment or you can be abusive to them on very trivial matters. It will damage you and them. Abuse isn't good for them for aggressors and victims. It's going to make both of them into a monster. Even those who are watching the abuse will suffer with emotional turmoil. It will raise stress hormones in everyone experiencing the abuse. 

What abuse does at a deeper level? It kills the good person in us. It kills hope in us. It kills our beauty. It nurtures the demon in us and makes us monsters. We begin to doubt that maybe I'm not beautiful, I'm not worthy of love and the treatment I'm receiving is what I deserve may be. Then, slowly we begin to settle for less than we deserve, we become apologetic for who we are. We are always guilty for who we are. We don't have clarity of who I am. So, abuse is questioning someone's existence and nullifying it into a non-entity.

Toxicity depends on a series of events in the narrative. There's this core belief. You keep feeding that for years and you don't attend the other person. There's no meaningful healthy relationship based on friendship but on anger, hatred and revenge.

 The person you cannot love cannot be a vessel of your anger and outbursts. The person you cannot love deserves respectful engagement. In some ways, respect is a synonym of love. We settle for respect even when we don't get healthy love.

If you're vulgar and toxic. Ruthless and careless. Irresponsible and violent. You will abuse the person who you cannot love. You will begin to take the person for granted as if the person is at your mercy. You will pretend to be their unforgiven god and inflict pain into their soul. You're changing that person by doing so. You're snatching their ability to love. That's the worst you can do to anyone. Inability to love anyone. Because you are inflicting your trauma on them, to those who you cannot love. 

So, to stop this cycle of violence and abuse. So stop this generational trauma that might make your family a problematic family. People are unable to love, cherish and seek hope. You have to be respectful and responsible. 

You have no right to violate, hurt and be offensive to anyone. Be good friends if you cannot love, be good relatives, and keep a respectful engagement. It takes a decades for that person to get out this emotional roller-coaster and there's this deep dungeon where your soul keeps sinking in the sea. It's very dark there. It's like going to war, you're never the same person again. 

The worst thing than hate is apathy. Inability to love is greatest deficiency. If you cannot love, you are handicap, you need to fix this. You just cannot inflict your trauma on others. Be considerate, respectful and responsive to those who you cannot love.