Withdrawal Syndrome!

There's this feeling. I have been feeling it for a decade. I get this urge to leave people and places when I tend to get rejected by the people who I think are important to me. I radically withdraw from them. This withdrawal is so brutal and intense that it sabotages the whole relationship and destroys my past efforts to improve the relationship with them. This destructive act of self-sabotage is engrained in the fundamental belief of being abandoned. You are left by someone, and you are angry at the world so much that whenever you get upset, you continue departing people. I could not build public relations and social capital because of this habit.

It consumes lot of effort for me to create a meaningful bond, build expectations and then self sabotage the memorable relationship by destroying it into tiny pieces. 

For you, rejection might not be big deal but for me small gesture of avoiding me will drive me crazy. I will forget how much beautiful, kind and caring friend you are as person. I will inflict you with pain by abondoning you and rejecting your whole existence!